Why do I Write?

July 24th, 2008

I read an article recently that pretty thoroughly covered the issue of “why write” for that author. It was brilliantly written and inspirational and it got me to wondering about the question as it relates to me.

Why do I write?

I’ve recently begun writing a memoir. I was inspired to do this by an article in the July/August 2008 AARP magazine. I had previously written a number of articles for www.searchwarp.com that I thought could be included in a memoir and so considered myself to have a good start on it already. The “fleshing” out of the memoir has been the most interesting.

The reasons for writing a memoir are many, but for me it has been a personally revealing exercise. I’ve looked at my relationship to my mother, father, sister and step-father in ways that I had not previously done. I spent many years somewhat angry and disappointed with my parents for the way that they raised me and my sister. I have a new appreciation of what they did and why they did it as a result of starting to write my memoir. When you make the decision to put your life in print, you tend to look at it more carefully; a little more objectively. You want to be honest, but at the same time, you wonder how someone who does not really know you will perceive what you have written. It takes you out of yourself and gives you a new vantage point.

Some people might think that writing a memoir indicates a desire on the part of the author to just talk about themselves. I find that I want to make an example of my life for others. To say, “Look. This is what I did and this is how it turned out. Don’t make this mistake or yes, do this, it was great.”

I think that much of the rest of the writing that I do is for these same reasons. But there is also a little more. I think that I write also to work out how I might feel about something. Then there is also the “venting.” Sometimes I just have to get “it” out.

No matter what the reason I have for writing, I just can’t seem to not write. I get as much satisfaction from crafting a really great story as I do from building a really stunning piece of jewelry. I love putting words together just so and much as combining silver and gold and stones. So, perhaps the question of why I write could be summed up most simply in the statement, “I write for the sheer creativity of it.”

If you would like to see some of my jewelry creations, visit www.syzygyjewelry.com  If you would like to read some of my articles, visit www.searchwarp.comand type Dianne Lehmann in the search box.

Making vs. Selling Jewelry

April 25th, 2008

I just love making jewelry. Selling the fruits of my creativity…not so much. I do not mean that I can not let go of what I have made, because I do. There have only been a very few things that I just had to keep. I would make jewelry all day long, seven days a week, even if it never sold. I love everything having to do with the making of jewelry. The materials (faceted stones, cabochons of jasper and agate, silver, copper, you name it) and the tools (saws, hammers, drills, pliers, shears, you get the idea) vie for equal appreciation.  

When I sit down to make a piece of jewelry, my focus is complete. There are no stray thoughts about what I have to do after or what I did before. I am completely in “the now.” And, indeed, stray thoughts can lead to bad solders, melted bezels, and bad scratches on the cabochon you so laboriously cut and polished. Because of this, I have always thought that making jewelry is very meditative. It takes you out of yourself and away from time. 

Selling that jewelry, however, puts you right in the thick of things. It is my least favorite part and seems to take up way too much of my time. I know what you are thinking; then why make it? Or, you are thinking that whatever you are doing at this very moment is exactly what you are supposed to be doing. To paraphrase Eckhart Tolle in his book, “The New Earth,” your purpose is to do whatever you are doing at this moment and to give it your full attention. I think the idea is that this will lead to peace of mind. But I am not really all that clear on it. My husband, Bernd (another wise German), could tell you better.  

When it is your intention to sell your jewelry, you have to look at it from the perspective of the consumer. Although I mostly make what tickles my fancy, I do from time to time consider whether or not someone will ever buy it. Also, figuring out a price can be a pain in the…you know. Sometimes I have so much time into a piece that I think no one will ever buy it if I try to recover the cost of all my time. So then you are into the territory of “perceived value.” What might the average person be willing to pay for this? This is what I meant about it putting you right into the thick of things. All this trying to figure out what someone else might possibly do takes you right out of the moment and out of your center. And the really unfair part…you can never really figure it out.  This is why, for me, making jewelry feels so good and selling it does not.

When I am taking photographs of my work, editing those photographs, making them into thumbnails, putting them on a page of my website and doing all the typing of descriptions, sizes, prices and virtues of each piece, I am almost always wishing I were making jewelry instead of trying to guess at how this view or that angle will affect a decision to buy or not buy. This is my failing. And this says nothing about going out into the world and trying to sell it directly to retailers on a wholesale basis. I would like to enjoy all the aspects of running my business equally, but I just don’t think I am, yet, quite enlightened enough for that. I will keep working on it. One final note; this little rant is the result of spending the last few days putting I don’t know how many new items on the website. And don’t ask me to count them. It is time to get back to the bench! 

If you would like to view some of my work, please visit http://www.syzygyjewelry.com

It’s 2008! Oh Goody or Oh No?

January 4th, 2008

Well, the New Year is only four days old and all ready disaster has struck. I certainly hope this isn’t a portent of the entire year to come. We think of the New Year as a new beginning. But if you think about it, it’s really just another day turning into another day. No magic there. And what does the universe care about December 31, 2007 becoming January 1, 2008? 

Okay, so some people have a penchant for making resolutions. They are going to improve their lives in the New Year. But really, you can make resolutions (and break them) on any day of the year. By now you’ve discerned an unhappy tone to this. I will tell you why. One should never speak of the Devil and apparently, my head is not made of wood, though my husband, Bernd, might disagree. Knocking on it did not help. My husband will tell you that this is just a coincidence; and that is probably true. However, one wonders. 

On New Year’s Day, we were sitting having a nice quiet lunch when we got to reminiscing about past automobiles. They were not the most reliable of automobiles and spent inordinate amounts of time in repair shops. We were both saying how nice it was to now have two cars that didn’t require regular towing. This is when I knocked on my head. Our dining room table is made of glass and the chairs are metal and fabric. My mother (may she rest in peace) would tell you that you should never say things like that without knocking on wood. Bernd was off on the 2nd as well and when, on the 3rd, he tried to start his car to go to work, IT WOULD NOT RUN. The nice man from the towing company laughed along with me when I said this was not how I wanted to start the New Year. 

It seems that there is a defect in the cam bearing of the engine of our car that the manufacturer is aware of and has done nothing to rectify. The bearing goes bad and starts chewing off bits of aluminum which go on to block the oil line. No oil gets to the engine and your engine is toast. Because oil pressure is maintained, no warning lights come on. It is going to cost us $5,000 for a new engine and the toasted engine only had 60,000 miles on it. We bought it from Bernd’s father for $4,000. And there is no guarantee that the new (rebuilt) engine will not develop the same problem. You can see why my mood is less than chipper. So there are two morals to this story. One is, don’t have expectations. You are less likely to be disappointed. And the other is, when it’s time to knock on wood, find some real wood.  

Literary Agency Hot Sheet

December 24th, 2007

The following is for the benefit of potential buyers of my manuscript.

Title:                        Brave Little Algernon

Author:                    Dianne Lehmann

Grade or Focus:      Pre-K to 4th, boys and girls

Number of Words:  Approximately 3,391 

Synopsis:                  This is a story that both children and adults will find charming and heartwarming. It is the story of James and Megan, brother and sister, who own and care for an aquarium. “It’s not a big aquarium, but it’s not one of those little gold fish bowls, either. It’s a proper tank with a  heater, an…It’s a ten gallon aquarium, which is, according to Megan, just the right size.”

The children begin with three fishes but after a time find the need for a very special little fourth fish. They must trek once more to visit the “very nice man” at the pet store to purchase their special fish.

Megan is, at first, appalled at the appearance of this fourth fish and does not want it in their aquarium. But her mother, Susan, persuades her that this is the best way to handle the problem with the aquarium. With time and understanding, Megan learns to appreciate the special fish’ true beauty.

This story is about family and relationships. It is a small lesson in the keeping of a fish tank and bigger lesson in living life.

Author Biography:  Dianne Lehmann is a jewelry designer and manufacturer by trade. She has always loved words and anything to do with words. When she was younger, she would sit and read the dictionary for entertainment. That is how she found the word that, many years later, became the name for her company, SyZyGy Jewelry. She is an avid reader of fiction and non-fiction.

Dianne’s major at California State University at Fullerton was microbiology and she graduated with a Bachelor’s degree. Considering what she studied and what she does for a living, she really believes in the saying that life is what happens while you are busy making plans. She has been writing one thing or another all of her life. Until recently, though, she did not have the time to pursue this passion.

Dianne and her husband, Bernd, live in Arizona with their cat, Winnie.

Other:              Critique Editor: Cyntia Sherman of Writers Literary                            

All about “Brave Little Algernon”

December 24th, 2007

Some time ago, my husband and I kept a brackish water aquarium. We had two puffer fishes, one bumble bee Gobi and a plecostomus. 

At that time, I worked for a wonderful woman named Alessandra, who had two nieces and a nephew. When they would come to stay with their aunt, Alessandra loved to read to them.  I wrote “Brave Little Algernon” for two reasons. The first and largest one was that I felt compelled to write it. I loved those fishes so much. They gave my husband and me such pleasure. They were so comically endearing that I wanted to put down our experience in words, the better to remember it. And secondly, I thought it would make a fun story for Alessandra to read to her nieces and nephew. As it turned out, they wanted to hear more about the characters. 

What I did not know when I decided to write it was how it would take off; as if it had a life of its own. I have always enjoyed writing. If I wasn’t writing in a journal or writing poetry, I was reading and dreaming about some day writing a book. The manuscript had languished in a drawer of our computer desk for quite a few years before I dragged it out and dusted it off. I had been writing articles for two on-line magazines in an effort to cheaply promote our website because I had just quit my day job and needed to drive more business to the site. My husband, Bernd, mentioned the manuscript and asked me why I did not try to get it published.   

I had written it on an electric typewriter and it needed to be retyped and corrected. It took me a couple of days to do in between all the other things that needed doing. When I finished the retyping, I went on-line to find an agent. My husband sometimes hates our computer. I never feel that way. Yes, it can be frustrating at times, but it is such a wonderful tool that I do not know what I would do without it. I found the Writer’s Literary Agency and sent them a synopsis. When they said they were interested in seeing the manuscript, I was amazed and elated. I now have an agent, Hil, and have had the manuscript professionally critiqued. It has entered into the marketing phase. I am not holding my breath. There are so many people out there writing books of all kinds, that to seriously think mine will be published is really not reasonable. Yet, I am hopeful. It would be so wonderful to share our experience of our fishes through its main characters, Megan and James. Not to mention, it would be a real hoot to publish a book.Following, are a few of the first paragraphs of the book: 

Brave Little Algernon

by Dianne Lehmann

Chapter One

            James and Megan Johnson are brother and sister. James is six years old and Megan is eight. Well…eight and third years old, as she likes to point out.

            Between them, they own and care for an aquarium. That’s a house for fishes as James will explain. It’s not a big aquarium, but it’s not one of those little gold fish bowls, either. It’s a proper tank with a heater, an aerator (an aerator makes the bubbles so the fishes can breathe) and a filter. It has gravel on the bottom (blue and tan) and some fake plants. There is also a piece of sandstone with a hole in the middle for the fishes to swim through for fun. And a pretty piece of red coral and fake hollow log, also for fun. It’s a ten gallon aquarium, which is, according to Megan, just the right size.

They have three fishes. Mom, that would be Susan Johnson, says that you don’t want to overcrowd your fishes. When James and Megan first saw the puffer fishes, they thought there were so cute and funny-looking. They knew those were the fishes they had to have. Mom said okay, but that she would get to name them. James and Megan agreed.

Puffers are kind of roundish. “Blimp-shaped,” says Megan. Their eyes stick out from the sides of their heads and move around independently of each other. James is not fond of big words, so he likes to say that they can look in two different directions at once. They have busy little fins and can swim backwards as well as forwards. Megan has also seen Boris swim sideways.

Oh yes…now Megan knows that parents are old and this makes them a little strange and sometimes hard to understand. So Megan was not at all surprised when Mom named the bigger puffer Boris and the smaller puffer Barney.

Mom was quick to point out that Barney was not named for the dinosaur, but for Barney Google because he has googly eyes. Boris is named for Boris Badinoff from ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE because he has marks on the side of his mouth that look just like Boris Badinoff’s mustache.

Bernd and I watched a segment of the Sunday Morning program on CBS a while ago. It was about authors who paint. The conclusion was that people who are creative are simply creative; that it is not always limited to one medium. While I still primarily think of myself as a jewelry artist, I can also think of myself as an author. My husband, who is also a jewelry artist, considers himself a watercolorist as well. We are going to see if we can come up with some good illustrations for the book.  So, wish me luck with this. When I have the time, I will post updates about my progress. 

Am I Bah Humbug?

December 20th, 2007

I’m not against Christmas celebrations or anything like that, but sometimes I feel a little bit Bah Humbug. I mean, what’s the point of putting up the same old decorations year after year? Why do we continue to hang the same tired ornaments on a dead pine tree that we have put in our living rooms for a few weeks? Or worse yet, on a fake tree? Well, okay, I know one person whose son is allergic to pine; they’re exempt. I do love getting together with friends and family. But really, you can do that any time of year. I like all the lights at Christmas. They are cheerful and happy. But then, why not have them all year long? Environmental and cost issues aside, wouldn’t it be wonderful? 

I know what you are going to say when I say that Christmas has become too commercial. They have been saying that for years now. But it is still true. And this year, stores started putting out their Christmas wares and decorating for Christmas even earlier than in the past. I find it all very annoying. So maybe I am Bah Humbug. If we feel like it, my husband and I exchange gifts on special occasions, but it’s not a demand we make on each other or a given. We gift each other throughout the year, when the mood strikes us. We don’t need a special occasion to say “I love you” with a present. Actually, we don’t even need a present. 

I will admit that having no children probably makes me look at Christmas a little differently from people who do have children. But then, I have to wonder what they are teaching their children about the meaning of Christmas. To me Christmas is about hope, tolerance, kindness, peace and happiness. It’s about all that should be right with the world. It shouldn’t be about “I’ll be happy when I have the newest _____.”   I also think that the Christmas spirit should be alive in every one of us all year long. Not just at Christmas. So, I get a little down at Christmas time because I know that the spirit isn’t really very alive even now. People are so stressed by all the extra demands placed on them during the holiday season that they lose sight of what’s really important. Tolerance and kindness fly out the window on the roads and in the check out lines. Happiness (or is it relief?) comes at the end of it when it all works out just right, if it does, rather than from the doing. As a wise person once said, “Happiness is a journey, not a destination.” The only hope children seem to express is that they will get exactly what they asked for. And their happiness is lots of presents beneath the tree. So if these sentiments make me seem a bit Bah Humbug, well then so be it. 

Of Rodents and Men Continued

November 1st, 2007

Well, we finally caught the little pack rat and it turned out he is a she. So naturally, I have had to revise how I perceived her actions. She wasn’t rude and crass; she was just trying to find a safe and cozy spot to live. Actually, that was my real perception from the very beginning, even when I thought it was a male rat.  

I finally broke down and purchased a live trap and after many failed trappings and much eating of peanuts and drinking of water, we figured out why the trap wasn’t working and fixed it. We released the little girl in a place called Clipper Wash near to where we live. We drove her there so that she can not find her way back. :(  

I really wanted to keep her. Just ask my husband. But she would spend her days terrified by our cat. When we first moved to our house, one summer we took about 50 mice out of our basement. The last two were babies and we kept them until they died. We had no cat at that time. They didn’t live very long, but they were very cute.  My little pack rat was also very cute. I sincerely hope she is having good luck making herself a new home, that she is safe from the hawks and coyotes and that she doesn’t hate me for making her move. If I had my way…well, my husband doesn’t really want to think about that! 

For a cute picture of a pack rat and information on the little guys, go to:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pack_rat

Of Rodents and men

October 25th, 2007

It’s rats actually and me, a woman. Really, it’s only one rat. I’m fairly certain of that. 

It is living in our basement. It got in by chewing through the metal screen that covers the backs of the vents in the basement. He’s (no female would be so pushy and crass) apparently a very determined little rat with very sharp and very tough teeth. 

This wouldn’t be a problem, except I don’t know what he might be chewing on down there now that he can’t get out of the basement. We put a much heavier screen over all of the vents. And I worry (yes, I really do) that he might die down there. 

He is too big for the “Mice Cubes” that we have. They are made of clear plastic and have a one-way door that must close all the way to work. I am thinking that the wily little bas**** purposely left his tail in the door so he could back out after eating the peanuts I so thoughtfully shelled for him. 

Last night we tried the bucket trick. You take a five gallon bucket, put some peanuts (thoughtfully shelled) and a small dish of water in the bottom so he won’t starve or die of dehydration before you can let him loose. Then you put a piece of cardboard across the top that has a crease in it so it will fall into the bucket when the slightest weight is placed on it. You bait the cardboard with more peanuts; thoughtfully shelled. It seemed like a good trick. 

When I checked the bucket this afternoon, fully expecting to find Mr. Rat, he was not there. All the water was gone as well as the peanuts. He is probably somewhere right now happily sleeping off the feast. Obviously, he is as good a leaper as he is a gnawer. 

My husband wants to use one of those traps that goes snap and practically decapitates the poor thing. He says it’s humane. He says that the rat will never know what hit him. He says that the rat is just going to die down there anyway. I say not so. Not if I keep feeding him peanuts and giving him water.

How to Solder Silver: Tips for the Complete Novice

October 19th, 2007

When I was first interested in learning to solder silver, I was very intimidated by the scope of the endeavor not to mention the flame. So I started very small with few expectations about the results. My biggest tip for the novice is to not expect it to go the way you think it should. Take your time and learn what it will actually do and not do. Be prepared to melt things beyond repair. You learn your best lessons from your worst mistakes. For my first modest foray into silver soldering, I bought:  a butane powered mini-torch; a magnesia soldering block; easy solder in wire form; a few 18 gauge, open jump rings (8 or 9mm are easiest to handle at first); pickle; copper tongs and flux. You will also need a jar of water for quenching, safety goggles, a pair of heatless tweezers and a pair of wire cutters. Always wear safety goggles. To begin, set your magnesia block (I prefer these to charcoal because of the lesser cost, they take less time to heat and they cool faster) in an open area with nothing flammable around it. Push back your sleeves if they are long and tie back your hair as well, if it is long. It is a good idea to familiarize yourself with the operation of the torch before soldering your first jump ring. Turn it on and off several times until you can do it easily. Take a clean jump ring and make certain that the ends line up exactly and that they are touching each other. Solder will make a join solid, but it will not fill gaps. Apply flux to the place you want to join. When the solder melts it will follow the flame and flow where the flux is. Do not put flux anywhere you do not want the solder to go.   A few words about fluxes are in order. There are a lot to choose from. I use either a paste flux or a liquid flux depending on what I want to do.  Flux has two purposes; to help the solder flow and to help protect your silver from firescale. When you heat your sterling to soldering temperatures, you bring some of the copper in the alloy (92.5% silver, 7.5% copper) to the surface. The copper is essentially what makes sterling silver tarnish so rapidly and is responsible for the firescale. Firescale shows itself as a black coating on the surface of your sterling. A number of “how-to’s” on silver soldering will tell you to flux the entire piece in order to limit the firescale. But this sometimes makes the solder go where you do not want it and it is not always fun trying to remove the solder later. Paste flux stays where you put it and liquid does not always stay put. But paste flux can become very hard and glassy after heating and requires more time in the pickle to eliminate it all. You really will not have a problem with your first jump ring soldering project and may use any type of flux that you like, but these are a few things to remember for later; if there is a later. I caught the “bug” right off and haven’t regretted it. Now, take your wire cutters and cut off a small piece of easy solder. About an 1/8 of an inch should be more than enough. Place the solder on the magnesia block. Place the join of the jump ring on top of the solder so that it forms a cross. Turn off any direct lighting on your work area and use only room lighting. Light your torch. Bring the torch slowly closer to the jump ring so as not to blow the jump ring off of the solder. If you are using a paste flux and you set the jump ring quickly down upon the solder, you can let it dry a bit and the two will stick together. If you are using a liquid flux, do as I recommended in the previous paragraph. By not brightly illuminating your work, you will be better able to see the changes in color of the flux and the metal as it heats. Learning about these color changes now will help you later when you make larger projects. When the area of the magnesia block that the jump ring is resting on and the jump ring and solder reach the melting point of the solder, the solder will flow. Move the flame around the circumference of the jump ring. As you see it start to turn pinkish, concentrate the flame mostly on the join. You will see the jump ring drop level onto the surface of the block and you will see the solder become very shiny and flow up the join. You will have to look quick for that last part. Remove the flame as soon as you see those two things happen. Leave the flame too long and you will melt your jump ring into a nice ball. When I first made this error, I then had a lot of fun making balls from scrap silver. They can be useful in some designs. Also, remember that the solder will follow the flame, so take the flame away straight up; not sideways. Otherwise, the solder will follow the flame over the jump ring and coat part of your ring.

A quick work about heat sinks. Everything your work touches soaks up the heat of the flame and take it away from your work; including the air in the room. Never try to solder anything together by dangling it in the air. I know one person who tried this and failed. You can not ( and do not want to) heat all the air in your work room to soldering temperatures. 

Pick up the jump ring with the heatless tweezers and dunk it in the quenching water. It will hiss and spit a bit. Dry the jump ring and inspect the join. A small lump at the join is acceptable. A large lump is not, unless you want to make it a design element. Ideally, the joined place should not be obvious. It will take some experimentation with the different gauges of wire and amounts of solder to get to the point where you can make a nearly invisible join. 

Take your copper tongs and place the jump ring in the pickle solution. Pickle is basically a week acid that will turn the copper firescale into a white coating that can be easily polished off. Do not drop it into the pickle. Even though it is a relatively weak acid, it will still burn you and put holes in your clothes. Not immediately, though. They tend to show up after you wash them. You must use copper tongs because any ferrous (iron bearing) metal that comes in contact with the solution will electrolyze it and you will end up plating copper onto your silver. Remove the jump ring with the copper tongs also. Rinse it well in your quenching water. Or have a jar of water with baking soda added to it standing by to completely neutralize the acid. 

If you do not want a hard, bright, shiny polish on your jump rings, you can use a brass brush to remove the white coating. Dip a soft brass brush in a solution of dish soap and water and thoroughly rub the jump ring. The soap keeps brass from depositing on the silver. If you want a bright shine, you will have to use a buffing wheel of some sort charged with a polishing compound. 

Even someone who has been soldering silver for a long time can learn something new; usually the hard way. Recently, I learned that you can not solder brass to sterling silver. I did some research and learned why. Brass is an alloy of copper and zinc. Silver solder is an alloy of fine silver, copper and zinc. So, if you are trying to solder brass to sterling, the zinc and copper in the brass turn the sterling silver to solder, basically. And it just looks like a mess. You can, however, solder copper to sterling silver as I have done, without this problem. Also, you can solder copper to brass. I was trying to combine copper, sterling and brass with no luck at all.  

So have some fun. Get out there and light that torch! In no time you will be moving on to bigger and better things.

If you would like to see some of my work, please visit http://www.syzygyjewelry.com  Check out the Pendants pages. You can also look at the Gallery page dated 10/09/07.

What the Cat Saw

October 15th, 2007

 

 

What the cat saw, I couldn’t see.

What the cat saw, it couldn’t be me.

For I was just sitting, alone in my chair.

What the cat saw, it couldn’t be there.

 

Cats are for hearing and seeing a lot.

But nothing is there, it’s never, it’s not.

A whiff or a wisp or small tinkling sound,

It takes them up suddenly and sends them to ground.

 

What the cat heard, it couldn’t be near.

What the cat heard, fell not on my ear.

And what the cat knows, I never can tell.

What the cat heard….was that just a bell?!

 

Knowing nothing of angels or spirits or ghosts

I’m certainly not one to make any boasts.

But they hear things and see things that I surely don’t,

So, I don’t make a claim, I will not, I won’t.

 

Some cats are for things that go bump in the night.

Who’s to say if it’s me or it’s them that is right.

 

What the cat saw, I didn’t see.

What the cat saw, it sure wasn’t me.

For calmly I’m sitting, alone in my chair

Thinking of demons caught up in my hair!

I wrote this some time ago and thought it would be appropriate with Halloween coming up soon.